


Remember Me

by DoctorCucumber



Series: Memories [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-05-13 15:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19253779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorCucumber/pseuds/DoctorCucumber
Summary: You wake up in a strange bed with a horrible headache.  Where are you?





	1. Chapter 1

The world was upside down. Well, maybe it was you. You can feel a thick rope wrapped around one of your ankles as the blood rushes to your head. Your heartbeat pulses in your ears and your vision is starting to go fuzzy.

You hear footsteps approach you from behind. A blindfold is roughly pulled over your eyes, blacking out the world. A different pair of hands grips your shoulders, pulling you forward. You kick out with your free leg, only connecting with air.

You feel warm breath on your face and try to pull away from it. “Where is the Doctor, human?”

You try to hide your fear with a laugh. “You know, it’s funny. I’ve completely forgotten.”

Wham! What feels like a fist slams into the side of your head, sending you spinning. You bite back a yelp and hope that the rope is strong enough to not send you tumbling to the ground.

“Don’t make me ask again. Where is the Doctor?”

“Who?” You chuckle and brace yourself for another blow, but one doesn’t come. Instead you hear more footsteps and a faint buzzing noise.

“Wrong answer.”

As the buzzing noise grows louder, you feel a pressure at your temples. The pressure increases to the point where it feels like your head is about to explode. A twinge of panic turns your blood cold - what if the Doctor doesn’t find you?

Before you can dwell on the thought, you feel whoever blindfolded you punch you in the stomach. The air escapes your lungs, and you try to suck some back in as you feel another hit to the ribs. You fail to hold in a cry as a blow to the side of the head brings the pressure in your brain to a peak and your consciousness fades.

* * *

“Y/N!”

You blink your eyes open to the sound of frantic yelling. The world is completely black and all you can feel is pain. And now a pair of hands on your leg.

You panic, kicking blindly at whoever is touching you with your other leg. You connect with something and cry out as a stab of pain shoots through your ankle.

“Oi, watch it, mate!”

“Get the blindfold off,” a different voice says, and suddenly the world is less dark and a lot more blurry.

You blink hard, trying to get the face in front of you to focus. Before you can, the figure is gone and you feel two sets of arms cradle your shoulders as the hands on your leg disappear along with a painful pressure.

You feel yourself falling, thankful of the hands around your back stopping your head from cracking against the floor. But your feet do, and as they slam into the ground, you yell in pain, realizing you probably can’t walk.

Blinking isn’t clearing up the fuzz in your vision and you can’t see who is propping you up. Your hearing is starting to fade out too, and you can’t tell what is being said to you as you slump over and pass out.

* * *

_A soft, orange light. The smell of antiseptic. An odd whirring sound. A soft hand gently resting on your forehead._

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to ignore the sensory overload. As you realize that your head is throbbing, you grimace and try to pull away from the hand.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” a voice whispers as you feel a hand brush hair off of your forehead.

You pry one eye open only to close it again immediately. The lights are far too bright for your headache.

“Morning,” you force out through gritted teeth.

“How are you feeling,” the voice says.

“Swell,” you chuckle, then wince as pain stabs through your chest.

Breathing slowly, you try opening your eyes again. A concerned face peers down at you for a split second before you have to scrunch your face up against the light again.

“Where are we?”

“Medbay. You’ve been out for quite a while, Y/N.”

“What happened?” you ask, trying not to move too much.

There’s a beat. You hear the voice hitch on a response. A hand closes around your own and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“We thought we’d lost you,” you hear, barely above a whisper.

Your hand drops to the bed as you hear a chair scrape across the floor and the person next to you jump up. “We! We thought - yeah, let me go get everyone! Will you be alright for a minute?”

You nod and try to open your eyes for the third time, just glimpsing a long coat swish out the door.

“Yaz, Ryan, Graham!” the voice shouts, growing quieter as it moves away.

You struggle to sit up, taking in your surroundings. Everything is sparkling clean, with metal tools and monitors scattered throughout the space.

You glance under your blanket and spot a cast imprisoning one of your legs and a smaller brace around your other ankle. As you sharply inhale a breath, you guess that there are bandages wrapped around your ribs, weaving almost all the way up to your neck. You reach up to tug at one, only to notice that your arm is in a splint as well.

The door bursts open, bringing with it a whirlwind of people and excited voices and questions aimed at you. Before you can process what is going on, someone is hugging you a little too tightly and you yelp, jerking back and squeezing your eyes shut in pain.

“Sorry, sorry!” a different voice rushes to apologize.

You grimace and try to control your breathing. “It’s alright.”

You pry your eyes open again to find four pairs of eyes staring expectantly at you. It lasts a beat too long and you realize everyone is waiting for you to say something.

“So, exactly how many of my bones aren’t broken,” you try to smile, waving your hand around.

The awkwardness breaks as everyone smiles, almost sighing with relief.

“Two hundred,” you hear the voice from before reply as you scrub your eyes with your good hand.

“Well, at least that’s a majority,” you chuckle, wincing with regret immediately as your ribs burn.

You try to focus on the faces of the group around you, still having a bit of trouble seeing anything with the bright lights and the screaming headache.

“Are you alright,” you ask the boy to your left as his face comes into focus and you notice a massive bruise on his forehead.

He laughs and goes to clap your shoulder before thinking better of it and sticking his hands in his pockets. “Mate, I’m not the one in the bed, don’t worry about me. Although you did kick me pretty good back there,” he chuckles. The girl next to him whacks him upside the head.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, Graham, I didn’t mean to -” you freeze as you notice everyone giving you a confused look.

“Did you just call me Graham? Are you taking the piss with me, Y/N?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

You freeze, finally studying the people standing around you. A girl and a boy about your age stand next to each other, and on the other side you see an older man and a blonde woman looking at you with concern in her eyes. You gulp hard and try to smooth over the situation.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just messing, Brian.”

They definitely don’t buy it. _Oh no._

You lurch to attention, realizing your mistake. “Wait, did you say Ryan or Brian earlier? You were kind of moving away from me, I didn’t really hear,” you point toward the blonde.

The room is dead silent. _I’m really offending these people, aren’t I?_

“I’m just kidding, I’m kidding!” you stutter out, panicking. “I know you all. Yaz, Ryan, Graham,” you say pointing at each person and praying you’re guessing right. They all seem to relax slightly, but they still look very much on edge and unsure about the situation.

Your eyes land on the blonde woman. _Did she say her name? Crap._

“And you’re a doctor, see, steel trap,” you rush out, grinning and tapping your forehead.

She tenses up and your smile drops. “ _A_ doctor or _the_ Doctor?” she asks, somehow staring into your soul.

“Is there a difference?” you chuckle nervously.

She looks crestfallen. “Do you think I’m a medical doctor or do you think my name is the Doctor?”

“What, like first name - The, last name - Doctor?” you quip.

They look like you’ve just drowned a puppy in front of them.

“Sorry, that was really rude,” you choke out.

"No, no," the boy called Ryan shakes his head. "It's just that you've said that before."

Everyone else is frozen, staring at you. “I’m sorry, I’m just really bad with names, if we’ve met already, I’m really sorry, I just -"

" _If_ we've met? _If_! Y/N, tell me you remember us," the older man turns toward you.

You just barely shake your head, slightly scared of making the wrong move. "Should I?"

The blonde woman grabs your hand and you resist the urge to pull it away. "It's alright, Y/N, can you tell us what do you remember?"

You stare at her and feel your eyebrows scrunch together as you try to concentrate, but every time you reach for a memory, it's ripped away. You can feel your breathing start to come more rapidly as you begin to panic.

"Nothing. I don't remember anything. Why can't I remember anything?"

Everyone around you stares, gaping. You yank your hand out of the woman's grasp and retreat as far as you can away from everyone, pressing yourself into the pillows.

"Who are you? Where am I? What did you do to me?" Your eyes flick toward the door, noting the people standing between you and the exit. Not like you could even escape with your leg like this.

The woman advances toward you, hand outstretched. You jerk away from her and gasp as you feel a wound tear open on your torso, blood beginning to seep into your shirt. Your breathing becomes labored and your vision starts to go a bit fuzzy as you feel everything start to close in around you.

"Y/N, please, you need to calm down, you're hurting yourself, just -"

"Don't call me that!" you snap. "That's not, that's not my name, that's not, I don't remember, I can't -"

"Hey, it's alright, it's alright. I can help you, please, just let me -"

"Don't!" you jerk away, trying and failing to sound more angry than scared.

The room falls deadly silent. You assess your options, knowing you have to get out of there. As you lurch forward, trying to escape, you cry out as you jostle more of your wounds and feel pain rip through your body.

"I'm so sorry," the woman calling herself the Doctor says, a sob seeming to catch in her throat. Reaching out, she touches your forehead and the world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it's the amnesia cliche. And I pretty much stole the idea of not admitting to having amnesia from John Mulaney. I mean, that's exactly what I would do in that situation.
> 
> This is my first time trying to write something with multiple chapters and a plot and such, so I'm trying to plan where this is going to go. So please be gentle because I have no idea what I'm doing!


	2. Chapter 2

“We can’t do that.”

“I’m not saying we should just dump ‘em back home, but maybe being around things that are familiar would help jog their memory?”

“The TARDIS is familiar enough, and besides, how would we explain to someone with no memories how we all fit in a tiny box once we’d left it. We can start here until they’re healed, it’ll be faster than humans usually do, but I don’t want to use more alien medicine than I have to and have ‘em see anything too strange, it might be too much of a shock. So no talk of aliens, time travel, or crazy space technology, alright?”

“Okay Doc, but you really don’t know what this is?”

“No. No, I’d need to get inside their head to find out more -”

“Well, why don’t you do that! If you can -”

“I will _not_ go digging around in someone’s head without their permission, Ryan. I won’t do that again.”

“But if it’s the only -”

“It’s off the table. Besides, they don’t even trust any of us enough to get close right now. They’re scared and confused and we all just have to be gentle. I won’t let anyone lose their memories, not on my watch. I’ll think of something.”

The voices start talking over each other, and the increased noise seems to be triggering a headache. You turn toward where you think the sound is coming from and pry open an eye.

“What did you do to me?” you croak.

Everyone whips around to look at you. The blonde woman starts to take a step toward you before thinking better of it.

“Hi, Y/N. We didn’t -”

“No, you knocked me out. You touched -” you say, trying to reach up to tap your forehead but finding yourself unable to move. “Why can’t I move. Why can’t, what did you do to me?” you say, starting to panic.

The woman puts her hands up in surrender and takes a cautious step toward you. “You were moving around too much, you tore open some of your wounds, we just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t hurt yourself more in your sleep. If you promise to stay still, I can help.”

You nod hesitantly, eyeing the woman as she slowly reaches into her pocket. She lifts her coat like a gangster in an old movie, and you flinch away. But instead of a gunshot, you hear a vaguely familiar buzzing noise and suddenly, you feel a great pressure lift from your body.

As soon as you’re able to move, you sit up too fast and jerk away from everybody, wincing as you jostle your aching body. The momentum from the sudden movement is too much, and you feel yourself start to fall to the ground.

Under different circumstances, smashing your head into the floor wouldn’t have been too bad. But combining that with all of your other already injured limbs banging against the ground makes tears well up in your eyes immediately. Your ears start ringing as you screw your eyes shut. You struggle weakly as you feel hands lift you up and back onto the bed.

“Don’t touch me, let go, please!”

You hold in a sob as you feel everyone release you. Your eyes shoot open, staring daggers at the people around you.

“You’re really not making this easy, Y/N,” the blonde woman smiles sadly, sighing as she rubs her temples.

“I’d hate to make things hard for my kidnappers,” you snap.

“Wait, we didn’t kidnap you,” the younger girl says.

“You knocked me out, tied me to the bed, presumably beat me up, and I can’t remember anything. Sounds like textbook kidnapping to me - minus the memory wipe, I suppose.”

The boy turns toward the blonde woman. “That’s honestly a fair point, Doctor.”

She sighs again and turns back toward you. “Are you in a lot of pain right now?”

“No, I feel amazing,” you groan out through gritted teeth, feeling the ache in your chest every time you breathe.

“I’ve got some painkillers I can give you, they’ll help,” she says, taking a step toward you. You involuntarily flinch away from her.

“Not you. You knocked me out, didn’t you?”

She sighs but doesn’t dispute it. “Can one of them come over to you?”

You eye the other three people in the room. They look just as unsure about the situation as you feel. You nod slowly.

The woman tosses the bottle to the boy and nods in your direction. He steps forward, twisting open the bottle and shaking a tablet into his palm.

“How do I know that’s not poison or something?”

“We’re really not trying to hurt you, love,” the older man pipes up.

“I’ll prove it,” the boy smiles, popping the tablet into his mouth and swallowing it dry before anyone can stop him. “See, nothing to worry -“ he starts to slur, his shoulders dropping, a wide grin plastered on his face.

The blonde woman rolls her eyes and chuckles, wheeling him to a chair. “Yeah, they work fast.”

“Yaz, Yaz, punch me, I bet I don’t even feel it.”

The girl beside him gives him a quizzical look before tapping him on the shoulder lightly.

“Harder, come on you’re a cop, you can punch harder than -“

“Police officer,” she says, hitting him harder and then a bit harder, the smile never leaving his face.

“Would you children knock it off,” the man says good-naturedly, nudging the girl away as she stifles a laugh.

“These are good drugs, Doctor, well done, well done indeed, gold star for you this time.”

“Thanks for that, Ryan,” she says, patting his head and prying the medicine bottle from his grip. Turning away from him, she hands it to the girl. “Don’t you go eating any, too. I can’t have you all falling unconscious on me.”

The girl giggles and reaches toward you, tablet in hand. You take it hesitantly and pop it into your mouth, realizing it’s worth it to risk being poisoned if it means you’ll feel a little better. And the Ryan kid seemed alright, you think, as you stifle laughter at his condition.

“I’m Yaz, by the way, in case you forgot” the girl in front of you says. “And that’s Ryan, Graham, and the Doctor.”

You nod sleepily. “S’nice to meet you.”

She smiles sadly as your head starts to loll. “Do you want us here when you wake up?”

“I want to go home,” you reply, your voice cracking.

“Where is home? Do you remember?” the woman called the Doctor asks.

“I don’t know. Why can’t I remember?”

Before you can think too hard on it, you feel a tear roll down your cheek as your head hits the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the lovely comments! They really make my day/week/life and I truly appreciate them, nothing I’ve ever written has gotten so many comments before and they make me smile. Hopefully you all like this chapter, if all goes to plan we’ll be leaving angst station soon and hopping abroad the fluff train, but in the meantime enjoy the new chapter!

_“Where is the Doctor, human?”_

_The blood rushes to your head and rings in your ears as you choke out a laugh. “You know, it’s funny. I’ve completely forgotten.”_

_You spin in endless circles as a barrage of blows hit you in the head, the chest, the stomach. The wind is knocked out of you as you take the pummeling, trying desperately to hold in a sob._

_As you feel pain envelop your entire being, only one thought runs through your head._

_The Doctor will find me._

_The Doctor will find me._

_The Doctor will find me._

You jolt awake, trying desperately to catch your breath. Disoriented, you scan the room and spot the woman calling herself the Doctor curled up in an uncomfortable position in a chair, head lolling.

You slump down as you struggle to get your breathing under control, staring at the blonde woman as her forehead twitches in her sleep. The fleeting thought that she looks kind of adorable with her nose scrunched up like that passes through your mind, and you freeze as you remember that you’re supposed to be mad at her. She’s the reason you’re here, she’s the one who tied you up, she’s probably the one who stole your memories.

You can’t seem to pull your eyes away though, and as you continue scrutinizing her, her head tips too far forward and she bolts awake, looking around the room in confusion. Her eyes land on you and she smiles lazily.

“Hiya, Y/N. Sorry I fell asleep on you, you’ve been out for a while, just wanted to make sure you didn’t get up to much trouble when you woke up.”

She seems sincere enough, but as she grows more alert, her eyes seem to harden with something unidentifiable and you feel yourself tense. “So, you’re like the guard, you make sure I can’t leave?”

“Yes. No, no, wait, no, I’m not, I’m not like a prison guard or anything, you’re not a captive or anything.”

She rises, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and takes a step toward you. Despite desperately wanting to hold your ground, you feel yourself flinch involuntarily. She catches it and freezes. “I’m sorry, sorry, I forgot, I should have remembered, I’ll stay back here, alright?”

You nod, keeping a wary eye on her.

“I’m gonna go get something for you. I’ll be right back, okay?”

You nod again, watching her inch toward the door and disappear through it, leaving you alone. You take stock of your surroundings; one exit, multiple odd metal instruments strewn haphazardly on various sterile surfaces, only enough furniture to be barely functional. You could probably use some of the medical equipment in a fight if it came down to it, but you had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t going to happen. Not like you could stand in your condition anyway.

You take another peek at your injuries, poking and prodding where you probably shouldn’t be. At least you weren’t completely immobilized like the last time you woke up. You glance around your bed, not seeing any ropes or anything else that could have been used to tie you down. But it hadn’t felt like that anyway, it was more like an invisible weight pinning you down from all directions. Before you can figure out what had actually happened, the door bursts open.

Ryan speeds into the room, pushing Yaz in a wheelchair. They barrel toward your bed, then turn at the last second, doing a lap around your bed before screeching to a stop, Ryan laughing hysterically. Yaz hops up and wobbles slightly, grabbing his arm for support and smiling at you.

“What do you think of your sweet new ride?” she asks, patting the handles.

You stifle a giggle with your hand, flashing a thumbs up as you try to keep a serious face. “Very sweet. Maybe we should paint flames on the side of it with how fast you two were just going.”

“I’ve totally got some spray cans lying around here somewhere,” the Doctor pipes up. You register that she’s been standing in the doorway, keeping her distance. As soon as you make eye contact, she flashes you a hopeful, yet shy smile.

Before you decide whether you should return it or not, Ryan claps a hand gently on your shoulder. “We thought you’d appreciate the grand tour, you’ve been cooped up in this room forever.”

“A tour sounds great, I can’t _remember_ the last time I took a tour,” you say, cracking a grim smile. Ryan and Yaz exchange an awkward glance, looking unsure whether to laugh or not. You grimace slightly. “Sorry, bad joke.”

Ryan chuckles as he swings the chair around, facing it toward your bed. “Need a hand up?” he asks, hesitantly offering a hand.

You shake your head stubbornly. “I’ve got this.”

He nods and takes a step back as you push yourself into a sitting position, trying to hide a grimace as your body screams in pain. You slowly swing your legs off the bed and grab the armrests of the wheelchair, awkwardly scooting yourself sideways while trying to balance with your good arm. After what feels like an eternity, you find yourself mostly secured in the seat.

“That was fun,” you chuckle.

“Next time, I’m helping you, don’t argue,” Yaz says, trying to look stern.

You give a salute. “Yes, ma’am,” you say, shifting your gaze downward. “That’s probably for the best,” you admit sheepishly.

“Come on, fam! The TAR- hospital isn’t going to see itself,” the Doctor turns, disappearing through the door.

Yaz rolls her eyes and laughs, grabbing your chair and pushing you into the hallway. As your eyes adjust to the relatively dim light, you’re struck by the thought that this must be a very strange hospital indeed. A dull orange light glows through the grates in the floor, and the walls around you seem to pulse with life.

You shake off the uneasy feeling of being watched as the Doctor starts to ramble, pointing out different rooms and explaining what they are. You bite back a smile when she mentions a swimming pool, assuming she’s messing with you. As you continue on, you wrinkle your nose, smelling what seems to be the kitchen. The door is open, and you see Graham at the stove, frying eggs. He turns when he hears the four of you come in.

“Well look who’s up and about! You hungry, Y/N?”

You can’t seem to answer, staring at the sizzling pan as your mouth hangs open and your stomach gives a well-timed growl.

He chuckles, tipping the food onto a plate. “I’ll take that as a yes, here, I made some just the way you like.”

He sets the plate on the table and you wheel yourself over, insanely eager to eat. You’re sure they’re delicious, but you can’t even taste them as you shovel food into your mouth, realizing just how hungry you actually are. You force yourself to slow down and breathe, catching everyone watching you amusedly. “Thank you,” you say sheepishly.

“Of course,” he smiles kindly. “So, what do you think of this hospital, pretty cool, huh?”

You freeze, staring at your plate. “This isn’t a hospital, is it?”

“What, what makes you say that?” Ryan stutters, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“We’re the only people here. And she said there was a swimming pool, and I don’t think she was joking,” you say, pointing your fork at the Doctor. “I’m not an idiot, y’know,” you whisper, pushing your food around the plate.

A hand gives your shoulder a gentle pat. “Of course you’re not. I’m sorry we lied, I just thought it might be easier for you to accept than the truth,” the Doctor whispers.

“What is the truth?”

“Are you sure you want to know? It won’t be easy to hear.”

You nod, looking up into her eyes. She stares at you for a beat, then seems to make up her mind, nodding subtly.

“Alright. What would you like to know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is kind of long, I’ve been on a bus for eight hours and my only solace is this fic. But on the bright side, that means I can start writing the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

“Is Y/N really my name?”

She nods, and you find yourself nodding back, rolling the name over in your mind. Y/N. It wasn’t actually that bad. You could live with it.

“Okay. And we _aren’t_ in a hospital.”

She shakes her head, opening her mouth before snapping it shut, reconsidering what she was about to say.

“This is where I live. There are certainly enough medical supplies here to qualify it as a hospital. But I think saying any more would be too much for you right now.”

You frown slightly. “I can handle it.”

She shakes her head stubbornly. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea, please trust me on this one.”

You huff in frustration. “Who even are you lot?”

“I’m the Doc-“

“No, I know your name. Who are you to me?”

“We’re your friends.”

You look around at the rest of the people at the table. They’re watching the Doctor as intensely as you are.

“We’re your family,” she continues, barely audible.

The breath catches in your throat and you break eye contact, feeling tears welling up in your eyes. You force yourself to look back at her, gritting your teeth to keep from crying.

“What happened to me?”

“You’re positive you want to know?”

This time you hesitate. But your curiosity wins out and you nod.

She sighs, unable to meet your eye.

“I don’t want to go into detail, but you were kidnapped and they hurt you. And they stole your memories. And I couldn’t stop it.”

Graham puts a comforting hand on her shoulder as Yaz grabs her hand and runs her thumb across the back of it.

“Doc, this wasn’t your fault,” Graham says, trying to reassure her.

“It was,” she snaps. “Y/N has no idea who we are because of me. Because I let them get to you. And there’s nothing I can do,” she softens, turning back to you.

“Well, you said there was something you could try. To get their memories back,” Ryan pipes up.

You raise an eyebrow, unsure of how to react to the events unfolding before you. The Doctor seems genuine enough, but no matter how deep you dig inside your mind, you have no recollection of any of these people. You still aren’t even entirely sure if you should be trusting them right now.

The Doctor runs a hand over her eyes, sighing. “There is something. Maybe. I don’t think you’d like it.”

Your eyes flick over the faces of the four people before you. You think that it would maybe be nice if they really had been a part of your life. “What is it?”

She leans toward you, slowing raising her hands. “You have to trust me.”

You nod, eyeing her hands approaching your face. She gives you a reassuring smile as her hands move to rest on your temples. But before she can touch you, you feel yourself push back from the table, breathing heavily.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” you pant, trying to quell your sudden panic. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright, don’t apologize. I thought that might happen, it’s fine, you’re okay,” the Doctor says soothingly.

You roll your chair back toward the group, embarrassed. “Sorry,” you whisper, avoiding eye contact.

The Doctor brushes it off. “It’s okay, it’s okay. How about we try Plan B!”

* * *

“A movie?”

“Your favorite movie, to be exact,” Yaz says, passing you a bowl of popcorn.

“Yeah, Y/N, you’ve made us watch this so many times, even I remember every line. If this doesn’t spark your memory, nothing will,” Ryan jokes.

Graham whacks him lightly upside the head. “But no pressure or anything, right Ryan?”

“Right, right, if this doesn’t work, we’ve got plenty more ideas,” he rushes out, plopping down next to you and grabbing a handful of popcorn.

As the film starts, you catch movement out of the corner of your eye. Without being too obvious, you peek over and spot Yaz and the Doctor squished into a chair together. Yaz laughs and you tear your eyes away, feeling your cheeks heat up.

Ryan pokes you. “Mate, you’re blushing.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah, and you’re staring at - oh my god, were you staring?”

“I wasn’t staring, will you drop it, the movie’s starting.”

He doesn’t drop it. “Who were you looking at, Yaz or the Doctor?”

Your face gets even hotter. “Neither, leave me alone.”

“Well, either way, I think you’re gonna have some competition,” he shrugs as you hear another laugh ring out from their direction.

“I wasn’t staring,” you grumble, turning back toward the screen and focusing in on the movie.

* * *

“That was amazing! The car, and the, the lightning, and, and the clock tower! That was, that was so, so cool!”

“Well if you liked that you’ll be pleased to know there are two more,” Ryan grins.

You perk up and open your mouth, about to request an extension to the movie night, but the Doctor cuts you off.

“No!” she says, laughing. “No, no way, there’s only so much inaccurate time travel I can take in one sitting.”

You shrug. “What, you don’t think a DeLorean that can drive through time is realistic?” you smirk.

She shoots you a playful look, ready to challenge you. “It’s not that the car isn’t realistic, but his entire concept of the timeline is -“

Yaz shoves her shoulder lightly. “Hey, you’re just mad ‘cause you’re too similar to that scientist guy.”

“I’m nothing like him!” the Doctor protests.

“I don’t know, Doctor, I bet if we shocked you with 1.21 gigawatts we could get your hair to stand up like that,” you joke. “But we’d have to call you Doc Doctor instead of Doc Brown.”

Everyone chuckles as the Doctor opens and closes her mouth, flustered. You decide to take pity on her.

“Well, if time travel were possible, which direction would you want to go, forward or backward?”

Everyone stares at you. “Sorry, was that a weird question?”

“No, no, it’s just, that didn’t jog your memory at all?” Graham asks.

You shake your head, trying to figure out why the mood shifted so suddenly.

“That’s okay,” the Doctor pipes up. “On to Plan C!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry, but I love _Back to the Future_ so much, if you haven’t seen it, I implore you to check it out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so soooo sorry I've taken so long to write this next chapter, it's been a bit of a rough few weeks for me but I really hope you like it!

You had long since stopped counting the days that passed and the plans that failed, but with each attempt to regain your memories, you grew more and more frustrated. You could tell it was starting to wear on everyone as well; you felt like they didn’t really know how to act around you.

So the morning the Doctor decided it was alright to remove your ankle brace and wrist splint, you’d asked for some time alone. After a brief lesson on some crutches, you’d wandered off into the strange, winding hallways of the place you were now calling home. 

Aimless meandering had lead you around in circles; you still couldn’t quite tell how to navigate around here yet. But as you’d stumbled back around toward the kitchen, you’d heard hushed voices coming from inside. Without making a sound, you now stood just outside the door, straining to hear who was talking without making your presence known.

“I know.” That sounded like the Doctor.

“It’s just frustrating. And it hurts, that they think we’re just strangers to them.” Yaz?

“It’s alright, come here.”

The sound of sniffling floats out of the doorway, and you think maybe you should go in and see if Yaz is okay. But before you can move, the conversation continues and you remain frozen out of sight.

“Is anything we’re trying even working?” Yaz says, muffled presumably by the Doctor’s shoulder.

“Honestly? I don’t think so,” the Doctor sighs, and you can just imagine the crestfallen look on her face. “But I think we should keep trying, just to maintain some hope, at least.”

The next words fade away as your heart floods with emotion. Despair that your memories may be lost forever. Annoyance that the Doctor seems to be stringing you along with something she knows won’t work. Longing to see these people as more than mere strangers. As you ruminate in your thoughts, you suddenly jump out of your skin as a hand lands on your shoulder.

“Hello Y/N, you alright?”

Graham! As you startle away from his sudden presence, you trip over one of your crutches and tumble to the ground, sprawling out in plain view in the open doorway. Suddenly, three concerned faces are crowded around you, reaching to help you up.

“Sorry, love, didn’t mean to scare you,” Graham says sheepishly.

You giggle and brush it off, more concerned about being caught eavesdropping than a little fall and a fright. The Doctor doesn’t seem to notice, although her hold on your arm hasn’t let up yet. She flashes you a brilliant grin.

“Y/N, you’re just the person I was hoping to see! I wondered if I could show you something.”

* * *

“This is something practically every being in the univ- er, on Earth knows. It’s nearly hardwired into the very fibers of your essence, you’re almost born knowing it, seems like,” the Doctor grins and chuckles, leading you to a massive, black structure with a tiny bench in front of it and white rectangles sticking out of the front. She looks back at you expectantly.

Your smile falters a bit. “Uh, sorry, what is that exactly?”

If she’s thrown, she doesn’t show it. “It’s a piano, I’m going to teach you a song you taught me when we first met.”

“Oh, I know that word, I just can’t remember ever seeing one, I don’t think,” you say sheepishly, trying to recover from some of your awkwardness as the Doctor perches on the bench, patting the spot next to her.

You prop your crutches up against the instrument and join her, realizing too late that there is only enough room if you’re pressed up against her side. She doesn’t seem to mind as she runs her hands over the piano lovingly.

“Now, it’s really simple. You just press these keys twice each,” she says, tentatively placing her hand above yours and guiding your fingers where to play. As the two of you continue, music floating out of the piano, her proximity and touch suddenly become overwhelming and you forget to breathe for a second. But the panic quickly subsides as you glance up and see the Doctor smiling at you.

“Brilliant. Now just repeat that. I know the words but you have to promise not to laugh if I sound like a dying cat,” she chuckles.

“I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises,” you grin, lightly elbowing her in the ribs.

She shakes her head and smiles, but it’s hidden quickly by a curtain of hair falling over her face as she leans over the piano. She gestures for you to start playing and you tap away at the keys, slowly at first but picking up speed as you grow more confident with the pattern.

As you start to repeat the notes, the Doctor taps out a melody and starts singing softly, barely a whisper, and you realize she’s not a bad singer at all. Not even close.

_Heart and soul, I fell in love with you_

_Heart and soul, the way a fool would do_

_Madly, because you held me tight_

_And stole a kiss in the night_

_Heart and soul, I begged to be adored_

_Lost control, and tumbled overboard_

_Gladly, that magic night we kissed_

_There in the_

  


“Moon mist,” you whisper.

The Doctor’s hands freeze over the keys. “What did you just say?”

“I don’t know,” you shake your head, trying to figure out where those words came from.

“You know the lyrics?” she stares at you quizzically. Suddenly, her face lights up in delightful surprise. “Y/N, you remembered the lyrics! Oh, this is proper exciting,” she cheers, leaping up from the bench and doing a cute little happy dance.

“What are you shouting about?” Ryan asks, poking his head through the door, presumably having heard the commotion.

“Moon mist, Ryan!”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about the spacesh-“

“No, the words to the song, the piano song!” she practically bounces out of her skin, gesturing for you to play it again. As you fumble over notes, Ryan still looks confused.

“Doctor, nobody knows the words to that song, it’s just the song, y’know, the song from that old movie.”

“Y/N knew- no, Y/N knows the lyrics!” she says, pointing at you.

They both stare at you, and you feel your eyebrows knit so close together in concentration that it almost hurts. “How do I know the words exactly?”

The Doctor smiles at you and points a finger at your forehead, so close she’s almost touching you. “I think you’re fighting this. I think you’re fighting it and winning. Oh, you’re brilliant, you are!”

You hide a blush as you try to brush off the compliment. “Wait, but didn’t you say these plans weren’t working, how come this one did?”

“I was wrong! Oh, I love being wro- wait, you heard that?”

You feel your blush deepen as you avert your eyes. “I didn’t mean to. But I just thought maybe you were giving up on trying, giving up on me.”

At that, the Doctor freezes. She crouches down in front of you, holding your gaze.

“I’ll never give up on you. You understand? Never.”

You nod, blinking tears out of your eyes.

She grins and hops up. “Good. Now, let’s go tell the others the good news!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it's universal to know _Heart and Soul_ on the piano, but it seems like something I never remember learning and just inherently knew when I was a kid. I'm sure most people know it from the floor piano scene in _Big_ , but the vintage version is really good if you'd like to listen to it with the lyrics.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey what it’s the last chapter? Yep, sorry it’s come to an end so suddenly and yet simultaneously taken so long to post, I take full responsibility for being a piece of garbage. I hope you enjoy it!

Ever since your small breakthrough, you and the team had been barreling through every idea you could come up with trying to spark other memories, but nothing else had worked so far. You were beginning to lose hope again and trying to hide your despair from the others, but you suspected they saw through you.

In an effort to lift everyone’s spirits, Graham had brought the group a mountain of food and you now were sitting together playing games and laughing at each other.

Suddenly, the lights go out.

You look around quizzically, only just now realizing you haven’t seen a window anywhere in this place. You squint through the blackness, but can’t see a thing.

“Has anyone got a torch?” you ask the group, hoping they’re still where they just were.

“You need one, Y/N?” Yaz asks.

You laugh. “Well, yeah. Do you lot have night vision eyes and you just haven’t been telling me?”

There’s an odd beat of silence.

“I can go try to find the circuit breaker, it’s probably just a blown fuse,” you say, not quite remembering how to actually do what you just suggested.

“Y/N, what are you talking about, mate?” Ryan asks hesitantly.

You gesture around you and then laugh when you realize it’s too dark for them to see you. “The lights? We should try to get them back on, or at least get a candle or something.”

“Y/N, the lights are fine,” Graham says as you feel a hand rest gently on your shoulder.

“What?” you gulp.

“The lights, they’re still on,” he replies.

“You’re just taking the piss with me, right?” you ask. Nobody answers. “Right?” you repeat, a bit more panicked.

“Doctor, what’s wrong with them?” Yaz asks a little frantically.

“I don’t know. I don’t- their memory, it might be a neural block, that’s deteriorating th-“

“Neural block! What’s a neural block?”

You hear footsteps approach you as your breathing starts to get faster and you open and close your eyes, hoping to somehow see a difference.

“You have to trust me, okay, Y/N?” you hear the Doctor right in front of you and have to will yourself not to jerk away.

“Okay,” you breathe out uneasily.

“And you can’t fight it, alright?”

“Fight what?” you say, now even more on edge.

“Just relax,” she whispers.

“Doctor, I’m scared,” you admit through gritted teeth and eyes that are screwed shut so tightly it’s hurting.

“I know, I know,” she soothes. “But I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, alright? I promise.”

You barely have time to nod before cool fingers lightly graze your temples, and a scream rips from your throat.

* * *

“Y/N? Y/N, can you hear me?”

It’s the Doctor, but her voice sounds off somehow, and you can’t tell where it’s coming from. 

“Y/N, we need to focus right now, alright?”

“Doctor?”

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s me, I’m so sorry I had to do this, truly I am.”

You try to find her in the darkness, but you can’t even tell if you’re moving. “Do what?”

“Go inside your head.”

“My head!” you yelp, trying and failing to move your arms to touch your head, you can’t even feel your body, everything is floaty and drifty and confusing.

“I didn’t really get to explain, sorry about that. If there’s a memory in here you don’t want me to see, just nudge me away from it.”

“I don’t think I have enough of those to keep any of them hidden,” you snark, a giggle bubbling up from your throat.

You hear the Doctor’s laugh echo around you, enveloping you. “Well, it’s good to see you’ve still got your sense of humor. Because this next part might get a little tricky.”

A breath hitches in your throat, and before you can react, a familiar melody rings out in your mind. As the tune grows louder, a blinding light burns in your eyes, searing you with its heat.

You’re being torn apart, molecule by molecule, atom by atom. You can’t tell where you end and the light begins, can only feel the agony of its blaze.

“Y/N, stay with me. Y/N!”

* * *

_Soft, clean sheets. The smell of old books and fresh laundry. The ticking of a clock._

As you slowly come to consciousness, you take stock of every sensory detail flooding your head like a tsunami. Blinking away the fog of sleep, you sit up and stand shakily. Rubbing your eyes, a familiar face comes into focus, moving to stand cautiously far from you, in a room you now recognize as your own.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” she says gently.

“Doctor?” you gasp, trying to bite back a sob as you throw your arms around her shoulders, burying your face in her neck.

You can feel her break into a smile as she rubs soothing circles into your back, whispering comforting words into your hair.

“What happened,” you sniffle, words muffled in her shoulder.

She doesn’t let up her hold on you, enjoying being able to touch you again without you involuntarily flinching away. “I managed to remove the neural block, but you passed out. It’s been a few days, we didn’t know if it worked. We were- I was so worried.” You can hear her trying to hold in tears as you hug her tighter.

“I remember you, I remember you,” you mumble into her neck. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, it’s my fault your memories were stolen in the first place.”

At that you pull away, gazing sternly into the Doctor’s eyes. “Don’t say that, please don’t blame yourself. I’m fine, I promise, see?” you smile, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

You stare at each other for just a beat too long, but before either of you can say anything, you hear footsteps outside.

“Any updates in here?” Graham’s voice floats into the room as he appears in the doorway, holding steaming mugs.

“Graham!” you nearly shout, launching yourself at him and not even caring as hot tea soaks into your shirt. He chuckles as you pull away.

“I take it you remember me then, love?” he smiles.

You nod eagerly, almost fast enough to give you whiplash. At the commotion, Yaz and Ryan appear in the doorway, and you immediately treat them with the same greeting. You pull back reluctantly from between the two of them, almost afraid that if you do you’ll forget them all over again.

Everyone grins at you as you take them in; you’re overwhelmed with emotion and trying to keep it under control.

“Let’s not do that again,” you chuckle almost nervously.

Ryan laughs and pulls everyone in for a group hug. You finally feel yourself begin to relax smushed in the middle of the pile. You’re so glad to be back.

Back with your friends.

Back with your family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you all for reading and leaving such lovely comments, you all are truly the best!


End file.
